Courage to Be You

Courage to Be You by Gail Miller is a fantastic, candid book. At one point in her book, Gail recognizes that for a long time she was merely known as "Larry's wife" because her husband, Larry H. Miller, is so widely known because of his businesses, ownership of the Utah Jazz, and more. But one day Gail realized the importance that she herself has. It was part of her journey to have courage to be herself.

Although the author is a billionaire, I found the entire book to be something I could relate to. She is very personable with her examples. While she does talk a little about their wealth, she also explains how uncomfortable talking about money makes her. She talks about how she and her late husband decided together that money would never change them. They always wanted to use the money to do good in the world. A couple of examples of this stood out to me.

After her husband was made a member of a board of trustees, he would get a paycheck for each meeting he attended. Instead of depositing the check, he would cash it, and put all of the money in a coat pocket in the closet. This money was meant for Gail to use at a moment's notice if she found somebody in need, no questions asked. If any money was left over at the end of the year, it was all used to help somebody with Christmas. The Miller family never kept a penny of the checks Larry would get for being a board member.

I loved the way that the author talks about money. Obviously some money is a necessity, but the focus should just be on having sufficient for our needs. After that, it doesn't matter how much money you have. What matters is how much good you can do with what you have. This makes me think of the parable of the talents. Miller explains that she has always been careful with money--even now. Recently a soap dispenser in her home broke. Although she has plenty of money to go out and buy a new one, she knew she could just as easily fix the dispenser she had, and find a better use for the money elsewhere.

But money was just a small part of what the author wrote about. She also talks about the value of hard work, and making sure that we teach it to our children, not shelter them from it. She talks about choosing friends wisely, putting family first, learning to serve, and moving forward and not letting the past dominate the future.

One last thing I loved is the open relationship that Gail and Larry eventually created. When he came home from work, he would soak in the bathtub while sharing all the details of the day with her. This led to her feeling actively involved with the company and feeling like a true partner with her husband. Even though she eventually learned to be her own person and find her own voice, Gail also learned how to be an equal partner with her husband at the same time. I found that both profound and beautiful.