1-2-3 Magic for Christian Parents

This is my first time reviewing a parenting book, and that thought is a little weird to me. Welcome to adulthood, I guess. Amy found this book at the library and then eventually bought her own copy. After she finished reading it, she asked me to read it as well. It was really well written and taught some great principles that both Amy and I have begun to put in practice.

1-2-3 Magic for Christian Parents is written by Thomas W. Phelan and Chris Webb. It is an expanded idea on an original book by Phelan, but tailored for a Christian audience. I found some humor in this, because a few times the authors say something to the effect of, "It isn't really magic. It just seems like magic because it works." It made me laugh each time because it was almost as if they were worried some people would think the book contained witchcraft or something. There is definitely none of that in this book.

The main principle behind 1-2-3 Magic is that when children exhibit some sort of undesirable behavior, you count them. When they do it three times, they are told to "take five" and they go to timeout. But more than just counting, the crucial part of this is for the parent to do no other talking and to show no emotion. This removes all the fuel for a child who is misbehaving in order to get attention.

But counting is only for stopping behaviors and it should not be used for children who need to start good behaviors. Other methods should be used instead. One such method is getting a child to start doing their chores. If they don't, then they need to pay you to do it. This can be through allowance, time spent with electronics, toys, friends, etc. But this is just one of many ideas to help children start good behaviors.

That being said, counting and starting good behaviors are not the only parts of parenting. An essential part of that is to also provide one-on-one time with each children and create positive moments with them. These moments are crucial for healthy relationships with the children.

Most of the advice in the book was really good. Some of it, not so much. The part that made both me and Amy laugh was the suggestion to just not take small children to church because they are too young to behave. As tempting as that might be some weeks, we know that is not the right choice. But overall this book was very helpful, and I think it is safe to say that I will be referring to it many times throughout the next several years.